A consensus in the emotional turmoil of divorce is that long legal battles can be costly. Hourly attorney fees can reach the high three figures, and the average cost of a divorce is estimated to be $15,000 to $20,000, with contested divorces being even more expensive. Disagreements over issues like child custody can significantly escalate costs well beyond $100,000.
Maggie Kim, a 50-year-old musician, has been involved in six years of negotiations with her former husband and has spent about $400,000 on her divorce, not including travel costs to see her children in Paris every five weeks.
Choosing to “lawyer up” can compound the emotional and financial burden of divorce. Kate Anthony, a podcaster, and expert in high-conflict marriages advises against immediately hiring lawyers, stating that the family court system profits from the conflicts.
However, there are ways to reduce the stress and cost of divorce. Using a document service, mediation, or collaborative divorce are some alternatives that can help streamline the process and reduce expenses.
Vanessa McGrady, a writer in California, opted for the document service “We the People” for her less contentious divorce, costing less than $2,000.
Caitlin Steele used a mediation service from a start-up called “Wevorce” when she divorced in 2017, which cost her $750.
Collaborative divorce, an option for those with significant assets to divide, involves lawyers, financial professionals, and therapists working together to help the couple make decisions as calmly as possible.
Nanci Smith, a lawyer focusing on collaborative divorce, advises that it can cost anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000 or more, depending on the assets and level of conflict.
Erik Wheeler, a mediator, emphasizes the benefits of mediation, where the couple has full control of the process and can take the time they need. He estimates the total cost for a mediated divorce to be about $3,000.
For Jeff Bogle, mediation was the best choice when he divorced his wife of 17 years in 2020. They easily negotiated the terms, and the total cost for their divorce was $350.
Overall, engaging in an amicable and aligned approach to divorce can lead to significant cost savings and a more efficient process.
